All She Ever Wanted Read online

  Alex caught her hesitation and began advancing toward her. Breathe, Julie, breathe, she ordered herself. Don’t make an ass of yourself again, no matter how good he smells.

  “Hey,” Alex called to her, with a look of concern, “You ran out so fast, you forgot this.” He held out her phone. As Julie reached for it, he gripped her hand. At once, Julie felt helpless from his touch. The tingling began at her fingertips and traveled throughout her body in seconds, threatening to paralyze her. Fighting off the sensation, she wrestled her hand free from his and opened the rear driver’s side door.

  “Thanks,” she responded flatly, throwing her bags inside on the back seat. She slammed the door shut and reached for the handle of her own door, but Alex stood in front of it and grabbed her hand again.

  Julie suddenly felt a wave of fear wash over her. The original fear she had when she ran into Alex in the parking lot the first time, resurfaced. Was he looking to attack her? The parking lot was well lit, but it was after 8:30. The nurses on 12 hour shifts had left for the night already and the 3-11 nurses wouldn’t be leaving for a few hours. Julie gripped her car keys in her other hand, poised to use them as a weapon if necessary.

  But instead of attacking her, Alex gently placed his free hand on the side of her face and softly kissed her lips. Maybe it was the unexpectedness of it, but the kiss was so powerful, it made Julie’s knees buckle. Alex pulled away and cradled her other arm to steady her. Even as the kiss had ended, Julie felt the tingles of pleasure pricking her entire body. She stared at Alex in complete shock.

  “I’m sorry, I…” Alex began, but Julie bent forward and kissed him before he could finish. Within seconds, his arms were wrapped around her and they stood there, kissing passionately in the moonlit parking lot. It was as if Julie’s common sense had taken a vacation. Anyone could have entered the parking lot and seen the two, locked in an embrace.

  Julie, at that moment did not care. All she knew was that touching and kissing this man, had caused such an amazing sensation, she didn’t want it to ever end. It was more intense than any orgasm she had ever experienced. For once, she did not feel like the overworked, sleep deprived wife and mother of two. She felt sexy, attractive and alive, as if she was 25 years old again. As she and Alex pulled apart, she felt as if her heart might explode from sheer joy.

  Julie stared at Alex, not sure what to say after sharing a moment so intimate with someone who was practically a stranger. Alex stared back, equally stunned at the power of their kiss.

  “Wow, um, I was not expecting that,” he remarked, running his fingers through his short dark hair.

  Julie shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah that was very….” she trailed off, not sure whether she should describe how she felt. Despite the sensation kissing Alex had given her, immediately after, she was disappointed in herself for succumbing to the moment. She glanced around, feeling very vulnerable. Anyone could have seen them kissing. She could not believe how reckless and inappropriate she had been.

  Alex, on the other hand, had an expression of pleasure on his face. “Very hot,” he finished, reaching for her.

  Julie stumbled as she backed away. “I was going to say stupid, actually,” she replied, steadying herself. “Listen Alex, I don’t know why I did that. It was wrong on so many levels. Completely inappropriate.” She opened her car door to leave.

  Alex stepped between her and the door. “On the contrary,” he replied, “I think it was very appropriate for how I feel.” He leaned over to kiss her again.

  Julie blocked his kiss with her hand. “No, it’s not. I’m married. You may not be familiar with the concept of marriage, but I am,” Julie stated coolly.

  “Actually,” Alex responded defensively, “I am familiar with the concept of marriage. I was married for more than five years.”

  Julie was confused. “How is that possible?” Were you married when you were 15 or something?” she scoffed, snorting as she spoke.

  “No,” he replied in the same protective tone. “I was married when I was 24. We were both 24. Our marriage ended 3 years ago.”

  Doing the math in her head, Julie felt a rush of conflicting thoughts. Although completely relieved to learn Alex was not 22 years old, but in fact, 32, she was dismayed to learn he had been married. What if he had children? Children complicate things. What if this was a rebound from his marriage and he was using her to get over his wife? What caused his divorce? Infidelity? Money issues?

  Julie’s thoughts screeched to a halt as she reminded herself that those questions were in fact, irrelevant. She was not in a relationship with this man and nor would she ever be. To further solidify that thought, her Blackberry began to buzz in her hand. Glancing down, she saw an incoming text from Josh. Coming home soon? The time on the top read 8:30. Even though it was just words, Julie could tell he was pissed. Crap.

  Julie returned her attention to Alex. “I can’t discuss this right now. That’s my husband texting me. I need to get home before he worries where I am.” She started to compose a reply to Josh when Alex took the phone from her hand. “What are you doing?” she protested nervously, but Alex held up his hand.

  “Relax,” he assured her while hitting buttons on her phone. Within seconds, Julie heard a ringing coming from Alex’s pocket. Handing back her phone, he retrieved his own from his pocket. He pushed several buttons and with a satisfied nod, put it back in his pocket.

  Julie stared quizzically at her Blackberry and then at Alex. “What was that about?” she skeptically inquired.

  Alex grinned at her. “Well, you said you can’t talk about it now. So I programmed my number into your phone and then called myself so I have your number. That way can talk about it whenever you are free,” Alex replied.

  “What? Are you crazy?” Julie shouted with irritation. When Alex looked confused, she explained. “I can’t have your number in my phone. My husband will want to know who…” she looked at her phone’s screen for help, “who Alex is.”

  “Just tell him that it’s one of the nurses at the hospital if he asks,” Alex replied in a self -assured manner. “That is the truth after all.”

  Julie knew that answer would raise Josh’s suspicions because Julie did not have any of the hospital nurses’ cell numbers in her phone. She had the numbers to nursing floors, but never specific people. The hospital staff was in constant flux, so Julie didn’t get friendly or socialize with anyone outside of work other than Maryanne.

  Julie also knew she did not have time to debate the issue. She needed to get home as soon as possible. Offering Alex a smile, she sent a reply to Josh. On my way, and then she climbed into her vehicle. She could always delete the number later.

  As she closed the car door, Alex immediately tapped on her window. Sighing with annoyance, Julie pressed the button to roll the car window down.

  “So, I’ll call you tomorrow then?” he asked.

  Damn, he’s relentless, Julie thought to herself while replying out loud, “Why don’t you text me? Then I don’t have to explain why I am talking to you and nobody can hear what I’m saying.”

  “Ok, that works better,” Alex agreed and waved as she rolled up the window and pulled out of her spot. Peaking in her rearview mirror as she turned out of the lot, she could still see him rooted in place, watching her drive away. The sight of him standing there caused a shiver down Julie’s spine. At the time she thought it was a shiver of excitement; later she realized that it was fear of the unknown.

  *******************************************

  Julie opened the front door of the house at 9:05, trying to make as little noise as possible. She dumped her bags in the hall closet and kicked her shoes off. Hearing the low murmur of voices coming from the TV in the den, she crept into the kitchen. Leaning over the breakfast nook she could see Josh, asleep on the couch, mouth hanging open.

  Attractive, she thought as she headed toward the stairs. She decided to let him sleep and avoid the confrontation. Until tomorrow, anyhow. Julie peeked into the girls’
room. They were curled up in their beds, slumbering peacefully. Molly had a gigantic picture book tucked protectively under her arm. Kaylee’s feet were on her pillow and her head was under the covers. Julie sighed as she closed their bedroom door. She had missed their bedtime, yet again.

  While she undressed for bed, her thoughts turned to Alex and the kiss they had shared less than an hour ago. Just the mere memory of his lips on hers made her skin tingle. She found herself with a coy smile on her lips as she turned the bathroom sink on to wash her face.

  “What’s so funny?” Josh asked. Julie jumped, not expecting him to be standing in the doorway.

  “Nothing,” she stammered, “I was just thinking how nice it will be to finally get into bed.” She could see Josh grinning in the mirror.

  “Bed…mmm hmm,” Josh replied teasingly. He came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He started to kiss her neck as his hands traveled upwards toward her breasts.

  Julie was frozen with horror. I can’t let him kiss me or touch me! I’m still thinking of Alex, my mind is not here with Josh!

  She shrugged off Josh’s grasp. “I’m really tired, honey. It was an incredibly long day,” Julie remarked apologetically. Josh’s playful mood deteriorated as he retreated to the bedroom.

  “Right,” he responded flatly, “Forgot I’m last on the list.” He pulled off his tee shirt, revealing his nicely toned chest and slightly flabby midsection. Julie entered the bedroom, trying to make peace.

  “It’s not that. It’s just been crazy today and my mind would not be on you,” she replied, touching his chest. She didn’t mention who her mind would actually be on. “That wouldn’t be fair to you. I’d just be like a rag doll laying there. And you deserve better than that.” she added.

  Josh, however, wasn’t having any of her mind games. “At this point in time Julie, a rag doll is starting to look pretty damn good. It’s been awhile,” he alleged, climbing into bed.

  Julie sighed as she slid under the covers and turned to her husband. “I know, I know,” she whispered with a sad smile. “Tomorrow night, I promise.”

  “Great, we’re that couple that schedules sex now. Fantastic. What’s happened to us Julie?” Josh asked, “We used to be that spontaneous couple who had sex on the kitchen counters.”

  Julie frowned at him and turned out the light. “That was before kids, Josh. Don’t be ridiculous.” she admonished.

  “Yeah, and before your all-consuming job,” Josh mumbled as he turned over.

  Julie stared at the ceiling in the dark, unable to respond. Josh hated her job. He hated the time it took her away from him and the kids. At this point in time, she wasn’t too fond of it either. But what could I really do? We need money to live in this beautiful house and drive our expensive cars, she thought bitterly.

  An expensive house, cars and other materialistic possessions had never been goals that she and Josh had. All they ever wanted was a family and to be able to provide for that family. Somewhere along the way, they got caught up in keeping up with the Joneses like everyone else they knew.

  Once again, she began to think about Alex and how he was such a breath of fresh air in her stagnant money making, busy life. The breath of fresh air lulled Julie to sleep.

  Chapter 10

  The rest of Julie’s week went by in a blur. Alex texted her several times, never mentioning the kiss. His text were mostly nursing questions or general, “how’s your day going” types of conversations. Each time she responded in a neutral and friendly tone, happy to gloss over the inappropriate contact that had occurred between them. Soon, talking to Alex became second nature.

  In the beginning, she never initiated texting him, but each day for the rest of that week, she caught herself glancing at the phone, hoping he’d send her a message. And whenever a message popped up on the screen, she became giddy and eager to read it despite its benign nature. As days turned into weeks, the distant nature of their texts gave way to a friendlier, familiar tone. Alex began to confide in her some of his fears about his career and share stories about patients.

  Julie understood how overwhelming nursing could be to a new graduate and was a sympathetic ear. Julie did not have many close female friends other than Maryanne and found herself also confiding in Alex over the daily minutia of her life. On most days, they fell into an easy banter that ended up lasting the greater part of the day. Julie found herself looking forward to talking to Alex every day.

  June turned into July. The girls began summer camp, so Josh had more free time and started calling her more frequently, just to “chat”. Julie explained to him that she was busy and didn’t have time to talk, but in reality, she wanted to keep her phone free so she wouldn’t miss a message from Alex. She would much rather talk to someone who wanted to hear what she had to say, instead of someone who wanted to complain about their electric bill or question where she hid the cookies.

  As the days got hotter, so did their texts. Their friendly chitchat began to take on a flirtatious tone. It was innocent at first, but before she even realized what was happening, Julie and Alex were sending intense sexually charged messages to each other. Julie found herself becoming ridiculously turned on by the messages. Sometimes when she would receive a text from him, she realized that she was blushing with embarrassment. She did not often see Alex at the hospital and it was a good thing, too. She felt as if she would have no control over herself if she were to see him in person.

  The weekends became torture. Julie didn’t allow herself contact with Alex, because she didn’t want Josh to question her texting or get a hold of one of her very risqué messages from him. Instead, she was alone with only thoughts of Alex. Mondays all of a sudden, became a day Julie looked forward to. She wondered if he spent all weekend writing the “sexts” he sent to her. They were always provocative and always left her wanting more.

  Alex had signed up for the emergency medicine conference she had suggested on the night they had kissed. He had asked her on multiple occasions to join him, but she declined each time, nervous at what might transpire three nights in a hotel. She didn’t trust Alex and she trusted herself even less around him.

  As the summer wore on, Julie began to consider the idea that she was cheating on Josh. She dismissed it because her flirting with Alex was more of a fantasy than anything else. They had never been physical other than the one night in the parking lot. They were only friends. Friends who were simply having a good time.

  That was until one Monday mid-July. Julie was leaving work very late. The sun had already set and evening had arrived. The fireflies lit up the darkness, while crickets chirped in the heated atmosphere.

  Despite spending most of the day dashing from one meeting to another, she had still found time to text Alex by sneaking into the bathroom or under the table or between meetings. She was becoming quite the expert at one handed texting and could type with her left hand and take notes at a meeting with her right. Whatever it took. Julie was beginning to appear distracted to those around her, mostly because if she wasn’t talking to Alex, she was thinking about what to say to him next. Or what he had said to her. Their “friendship” was becoming a full time job that left little room for anything else. Alex was like a drug that Julie could not get enough of, constantly leaving her wanting more.

  So, considering her constant distraction, it was not surprising that Julie was wandering into the parking lot, unaware of her surroundings while composing a message to Alex. As she unlocked her car, she felt arms grabbing her from behind. Her instinct was to fight, so she reached up and punched her assailant in the face. Julie backed away as blood began to pour from his nose.

  “Hey!” Alex cried cupping his hand around his nose. “What did you hit me for?”

  Julie gasped, realizing what she had done. She quickly rummaged through her purse for a packet of tissues. Finding a handful of cafeteria napkins, she grabbed his nostrils and pinched them, all the while apologizing repeatedly.

  “Oh my God, Alex!
I’m so sorry! I had no idea that was YOU! I thought I was being attacked!” Julie explained while opening her driver’s side door and sitting Alex down on the seat.

  Alex took the wad of napkins off his nose to speak, “I guess I had that one coming. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he grinned. Julie smiled back at him and was about to reply, but the bleeding continued to gush from Alex’s nose.

  “Here!” Julie commanded handing him more napkins. “Don’t talk until we stop your nose from bleeding.” Julie pinched the top of his nostrils while he held the bottom to no avail. Alex’s nose was like a fountain.

  “We need an ice pack and maybe some tampons,” Alex instructed. Julie searched her purse, helplessly.

  “We’re going to have to go back inside and get that,” Julie replied uncomfortably.

  Alex nodded and added, “But you didn’t punch me, you accidentally opened the car door in my face,” he chuckled. Julie laughed as she locked up her car and followed him to the hospital entrance.

  “Ok if you’d rather lose a fight to a car door than a girl…” she joked.

  They entered the hospital still laughing, confusing the night security guard, Chuck. They both waved to him as Julie explained, “He lost a fight against a Range Rover.” Alex and Julie erupted into a fit of laughter, leaving a bewildered Chuck staring as the elevator doors closed behind them.

  The elevator opened revealing the floor of Julie’s office. Other than the dim wall panel lights, the entire floor was dark and deserted. Unlocking her office door, Julie pulled Alex in the direction of her bathroom.

  “Come on,” she instructed, grabbing an ice pack out of the mini fridge behind her desk. “Let’s get the bleeding stopped and clean you up.”

  Alex sat down on the closed toilet lid as Julie applied the ice packs to the back of his neck. She removed the napkins he was holding and surveyed the scene. “Hmmm, seems to have stopped. Good thing we don’t have to stuff these up your nose,” she teased, holding up the tampons she had grabbed from the cabinet.