All She Ever Wanted Read online

  Twenty minutes after her secretary left, Julie realized she could not concentrate any longer. She needed to get away from the hospital and go home to her family. There was really nothing more she could accomplish today with her mind in a state of diversion.

  Julie signed off the computer without closing the windows, a habit that drove Josh crazy when she used their home computer. Grabbing her attaché from where it had fallen on the floor, she shoved several files and a notebook inside. I’ll deal with it later, or tomorrow, or Monday, she thought haphazardly. Just not now.

  As she exited the hospital doors, Julie was greeted by a blast of humid June air. She didn’t even flinch. The heat was a welcome change from the cold, oppressive air she had been breathing in the hospital all day. Not only had she not been able to get thoughts of Alex out of her mind, running into him this morning had caused her a ripple of dissatisfaction regarding her job today. Every task she undertook seemed more loathsome, pointless or tedious than it ever had before. It was shortly after noon when she realized there was not too much about her job that she did enjoy, other than the paycheck. She was furious with Alex for planting that seed of discontent in her head, even if he did not realize what he had done.

  “Damn you, Alex Peyton,” Julie grumbled while climbing into her monstrous SUV.

  “Gee, what did I do?” questioned a voice from behind her. Julie’s head whipped around, nearly causing her to fall out of the Range Rover in the process. Alex was standing next to her open car door. He had changed out of his uniform and was wearing slightly faded jeans and a soft blue tee shirt that accentuated his taut biceps and chest muscles. He smelled like he had just stepped out of the shower, a mix of his aftershave and Irish Spring causing Julie to begin to feel faint. She could not believe the physical effect that his scent had on her. Coupled with the sight of his obviously fit body, Julie could barely think straight. Struggling to regain her composure, she managed to squeak out five small words.

  “What are you doing here?” It came out in a strangled tone.

  Alex shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I know that this may seem a little out of the ordinary…”

  Julie regained her voice. “If I didn’t know any better, Mr. Peyton, I would think you were stalking me,” she responded accusingly. She attempted to slow her galloping heart and calm her nerves with a deep breath.

  Alex took a step back and held his hands up, “Oh no, no, nothing like that,” he protested. “Please,” he added, finding his confidence. “Call me Alex.”

  “Ok, Alex,” Julie responded with slight irritation. “Do you want to tell me why you were standing by my car, yet again?”

  Alex cleared his throat and explained, “You see, Linda Mathews was my mentor this week. I saw her after I bumped into you this morning and she mentioned that you two had started together as paramedics. And that you had worked in the emergency department.” Alex paused, searching for Julie’s reaction. She was fiddling with her keys, trying to avoid contact with his eyes. “I thought maybe I could get you to sit down with me and I could pick your brain on what I need to work on to get into the ER eventually,” Alex smiled his award winning grin at Julie as he spoke. Julie had glanced up and was mesmerized once again by his smile. She swallowed hard. “I’m sorry,” Alex stammered, blushing slightly. “You must think I’m a complete idiot. I just really had thought we had connected earlier and…” Alex trailed off, staring at the ground like he had been a badly behaved child.

  Julie shut her jaw which had involuntarily fallen open. Was this man for real? Did he really want to hear what she had to say? Was he really interested in her experience, her advice? More importantly, had he just acknowledged the connection between them that Julie had thought she imagined?

  “No, no,” Julie stammered, “Of course I don’t. Think you’re an idiot, that is,” she explained quickly, so that he didn’t think she didn’t want to talk to him. Feeling as if she was beginning to babble, she stopped speaking abruptly, hoping Alex would resume the conversation.

  Looking relieved, Alex pretended to wipe his brow and say, Whew. “Well, that’s a relief. I don’t want you to think I’m a crazy annoying guy,” he remarked jokingly.

  Julie laughed at the thought. “Well, no one has ever quite taken such an approach to ask me a few questions. I don’t think anyone has ever staked out my car. Were you a reporter in your former life?” she teased. As the words left her mouth, she wished to take them back. She couldn’t believe what she was saying. It almost sounded like she was flirting with the man.

  If Alex minded, he didn’t show it. He just laughed along with her. “Listen,” he said, leaning one arm against her car. “I’m not doing anything till later on tonight. Can I buy you dinner? Make up for startling you before?” He winked and flashed that grin again.

  Julie nearly melted, wondering how she could resist such a face. He had one cute dimple on the left side of his mouth when he smiled. And those eyes….

  Julie! she chastised herself as she considered the way he phrased the question. He wasn’t doing anything until later on. Well, what exactly was he doing later on? Did he have a girlfriend? A wife? She hadn’t noticed a ring on his finger, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t married. Maybe he just didn’t wear a ring when he was working. Or when propositioning his boss, Julie considered with irritation. Wait a minute, Julie realized silently, It doesn’t matter what he’s doing later, I can’t have dinner with this man, taken or not. I’m married!

  Alex sensed her apprehension. “Oh, how stupid of me. It’s already after 6 on a Friday night. I’m sure you already have plans. With the kids? Or the husband?” he inquired, brow raising, obviously fishing for information.

  Julie responded quickly, “That’s not it…”

  “How about Monday?” Alex suggested. “My shift doesn’t end till 7, but if you don’t mind waiting, we can have dinner then.”

  Julie shook her head as he spoke, breaking momentarily from his hypnotic spell. “Alex, it’s a generous offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  Alex considered that for a moment and then frowned. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I mean, you are technically my boss.”

  Julie opened her mouth to speak but changed her mind. Ok, she told herself, let him think that is the only reason. That works. He doesn’t have to know that he takes your breath away and you are a married woman who can’t have that.

  “Yes,” Julie replied with forged sincerity, “They frown against things like that.” In reality, Julie doubted they frowned upon a boss having an innocent dinner with an employee who was interested in her work history. It was Julie’s not so benign thoughts that they would frown upon and she wanted to stop those thoughts immediately.

  Alex leaned against the car next to Julie’s, crossed his arms over his chest and fell deep into thought. “How about this?” he exclaimed suddenly, standing up straight. “Why don’t we meet in the hospital coffee shop? It’s a place all employees hang out, so there is no harm in us sitting together talking.”

  Alex gazed at Julie, waiting for a reply, his eyes daring her to turn him down. Why do I feel like a woman being set up on a blind date and I can’t seem to get out of it no matter what? Julie thought. She sighed and answered reluctantly.

  “Sure. Sounds good.”

  “Great!” Alex replied, putting his hand on Julie’s knee. “I’ll see you around 7 on Monday then.” He turned and sauntered away after a curt wave of his hand.

  Julie felt like her knee was burning from the heat of his touch. Watching him retreat, she felt relieved to be finished with the awkward conversation and disappointed it was over at the same time. Closing her car door, she sat in silence for a minute before beginning the drive home. She knew she needed to get her irrational feelings in check and remind herself of the reality. Alex was simply a fellow nurse who admired her career and he was asking for advice as he began his. He was not interested in her sexually, nor was he stalking her. Yes, he was good looking and seemed like a nice g
uy, but Julie also could not be interested in him, despite how he made her feel. Thank goodness it was the weekend and Julie could be free of Alex Peyton and his electric touches for two whole days.

  Julie cranked up her radio to drown out her thoughts and drove towards home.

  Chapter 7

  On Saturday morning, Julie soon realized that even though Alex wasn’t around, she was far from free of him. She woke up blushing with the memory of yet another dream of Alex. She climbed out of bed before the girls even woke up and began her day, trying desperately to banish all thoughts of him from her mind. In the shower, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly, causing her to imagine that the drops of water raining down on her body were really Alex’s fingers touching her. She leapt out of the shower, breathless.

  While helping Molly and Kaylee dress for their soccer game, she ordered visions of Alex’s smiling face to leave her brain and concentrated on the babbling children. Molly was very excited to play their last game, while Kaylee was somewhat apathetic, as she had been all season long. By 9 am, they were outfitted and fed. Grabbing the cooler from the fridge, filled with orange slices for the team’s healthy snack, Julie ushered the girls to the car. Josh trailed behind, balancing their coffee mugs and the girls’ water bottles in his arms.

  After helping situate the twins in their booster seats, Julie whirled around, just in time to witness Josh dropping the coffee all over the sidewalk. She cursed as she rushed over to help him pick up the mugs.

  “Sorry!” Josh called, apologetically.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Julie retorted with annoyance at his clumsiness. “What are we going to do now? It’s too late to make more coffee. I’ll have a migraine without it.”

  “I know! We can stop at Just a Drop,” Josh replied brilliantly. Smiling hopefully at Julie, he pointed out, “It’s on the way.”

  Julie groaned inwardly. For some completely irrational reason, Julie despised the relaxed atmosphere of the coffee shop. It rubbed her the wrong way. Perhaps it was because she always felt it was secret world she wasn’t part of.

  “Fine,” she growled as she climbed into the car. “But you go in and get the coffee. I’ll wait in the car.”

  Josh drove straight downtown and easily maneuvered the SUV into a parking space right in front of the busy shop. Leaving the car running, he hopped out and leisurely ambled to the glass door.

  Exasperated, Julie rolled her window down and called out urgently to him. “Pick up the pace, please! We need to be there in five minutes!” Josh acknowledged her with a wave and entered the shop. Julie could see him speaking with the barista, and then pointing to the glass cases that housed the baked goods.

  “Fantastic,” Julie mumbled. Once the girls smelled the donuts, she’d never get them to eat the orange slices. Craning her neck to peak in the rearview mirror, she could tell that sugar was the last thing those two needed. Molly was impatiently bouncing a ball on her knee, while her sister sang loudly and squirmed in her seat.

  Turning her attention back to the coffee shop, Julie could see Josh was not emerging from the door as he should be. Instead, he was laughing and chatting with a pretty blonde who was leaning provocatively on the counter with her boobs half hanging out of her shirt. Impatiently, Julie honked the horn, causing Josh to turn in her direction. She held up her wrist and tapped her watch.

  Josh bid his companion farewell and headed out the door, balancing the cup holder of coffee on top of the box of donuts. Julie snatched the cup of coffee Josh held out to her as he passed her window.

  “What was that about?” she inquired as he climbed into the car and handed the giggling girls the donut box. They ripped into the box enthusiastically, each shoving a donut in their mouth.

  “Oh, nothing,” he shrugged as he reached into the back seat to get a donut from the box. “Just our new neighbor.”

  Satisfied with his response, but nevertheless annoyed, Julie remarked, “Couldn’t you have hurried a bit, Josh? We’re now late.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Josh retorted, shoving a Boston crème into his own mouth. “This is coming from the queen of lateness. Have you ever been on time, Julie?”

  Flashing Josh a look of distain, Julie sipped her coffee and turned to her daughters in the backseat. “Finish the donut you are eating and wipe your hands with the wet wipes. Do not take another donut,” she instructed. Molly had already begun to fish a wipe out of the middle console and was cleaning up.

  “Don’t take another donut, Kaylee,” bossy Molly warned her sister who groaned.

  As they pulled into the lot, Molly, who was anxious to begin the game, unbuckled and opened her car door as the car was slowing to a stop.

  “Molly!” Julie admonished her daughter who was off and running toward the field before the words even left her mother’s lips. Josh hopped out and raced to catch up with Molly. Julie dragged a reluctant Kaylee out of the car and toward the soccer field. Once Kaylee was in the hands of her coach, Julie situated herself with her chair and coffee. She greeted the other parents enthusiastically, but secretly hoped they would not try to strike up a conversation with her. All she wanted was to sit in peace and watch the girls run up and down the field.

  During the game Julie tried to concentrate on the kids, but her mind continued to wander back to Alex. Visions of his gorgeous face and tantalizing body danced through her head. Forget sugarplums. She wanted a taste of that. She began to feel like a love struck teenager. But I am not a teenager, she reminded herself. She didn’t have pimples, she had wrinkles. She was a 36 year old married, professional woman and the man in question was practically a boy. He was 22, 23 years old and a subordinate of hers.

  Realizing she actually didn’t know how old he was, she began to think how she really didn’t know anything about him other than he was fond of an adrenaline rush and spent an unreasonable amount of time in the hospital parking lot.

  Julie couldn’t comprehend how a man, whom she knew so little about, could completely take over her thoughts. She wasn’t sure why she was so drawn to him immediately. Yes, he was undeniably handsome and fit. But that can’t be it, because so is Josh. For the most part, Julie thought, watching her husband scarf down his fourth donut of the day. Shaking her head in disgust, she reconsidered. Ok, so maybe he has packed on a few pounds and was developing a receding hairline, but he is still a handsome man. Josh had definitely been a good looking charmer when they had first met. Judging by the soccer moms who flocked to his side to chat with him during the game, he still had it, too. But Julie had to admit, Josh had never made her weak in the knees. She had not spent the better parts of a day thinking about him even when their relationship was brand new. There was something about Alex and their undeniable connection. It had to be that indisputable sense of familiarity that she had felt the first time she met him. And that feeling was what fueled her curiosity.

  Chapter 8

  Sunday seemed to drag even though the Hendricks were busy all day. They had not one, but two graduation parties to attend. The first was an early brunch for Julie’s good friend who was getting her Master’s degree. The other was an all-day affair for her oldest brother’s son at his home. Julie dreaded family gatherings, especially ones where her father and her step-mother were present. And to make it more interesting, it was also Father’s Day. Julie was going to have to feign affection for her father today despite the fact that he would be his usual cold self and purposely irk her by mixing up her daughters.

  Since Julie’s father had not often been around when she was a child, she had gone out of her way to try to make the day special for Josh the last six years. Knowing that he missed his own father terribly, she felt bad that they did not have a boy for Josh to do father/ son things with. She always encouraged a healthy enjoyment of sports for the girls. Molly was a natural and she genuinely loved tossing the ball around with her father, ripping up the soccer field or even snuggling with him on the couch to watch football. Kaylee, however, was hopelessly inept at sports and spent most of the time com
plaining about the heat, cold, pain, blisters, hunger, etc., etc.

  Julie was planning to surprise Josh with tickets to a Cubs game that night. It would be the girls’ first major league game and in Josh’s favorite stadium. He was a huge Cubs fan and a baseball aficionado in general. He and his friends had spent several summers touring the baseball parks of the country, but Wrigley Field had always been home to him.

  Despite the pounding headache Julie had from fake smiling all afternoon, the excitement of surprising Josh began to build. It was not often she could keep a surprise from him and she knew he would love this one. On the drive home, she anxiously waited for just the right moment.

  “So…” Julie remarked slyly as Josh maneuvered in and out of the lanes of traffic. “What do you say we take a detour and go to a Cubs vs. Braves game tonight?” She pulled the tickets from her purse and waved them in the air so the girls could see from the back seat.

  “Yes!” Molly shouted with delight, while Kaylee slid down in her booster seat and groaned.

  Josh, who did not see the tickets that were in Julie’s hand since his eyes were fixed on the highway, replied, “Not tonight, Julie. I’m beat from dealing with your dysfunctional family all afternoon and damn it, it’s starting to drizzle now.” He angrily pounded the wheel. He hated when drivers couldn’t handle a little bit of inclement weather.

  Julie’s face fell. For two weeks she had planned this surprise and had kept it a secret from him. She had purchased the best seats available because Josh loved to sit as close to the action as possible. Shopping online, she had found matching Cubs shorts sets for the girls that they were wearing. Josh had not even noticed. Julie hated baseball, yet she was willing to sit through a night game with at least one cranky 6 year old, if not two, and get up early for work the next day. And Josh had the nerve to say he was beat because of her family?