All She Ever Wanted Read online

  Julie drove home trying to convince herself that this was a fact.

  Chapter 4

  Julie lurched awake two days later with the feeling of being pushed off a cliff. In the background, she could hear a blaring noise, akin to a siren. She leapt out of the bed with a start.

  “Josh? Josh? Is the smoke alarm going off?” Julie’s eyes darted around the room frantically searching for smoke or fire.

  Josh sat up in bed and reached over to Julie’s night table. He clicked off her alarm. “No, Julie,” he replied with exasperation. “Just your alarm.” He rolled over and covered his head with a pillow.

  Julie let out a sigh of relief. “Sorry,” she apologized as she looked at the time. 5:05. Shoot! The alarm must have been going off for a full five minutes. Peaking cautiously into the hallway, she hoped the sound had not woken up the girls. Nope. It was still dark and quiet.

  Julie crept around her bedroom, gathering her running gear and wondering how on earth she had slept through five minutes of her alarm shrieking next to her. Having not one, but two colicky children who didn’t sleep through the night until they were nearly a year old, Julie was trained to be a very light sleeper. She rarely got a full night’s rest since every creak or noise inside and outside the house seemed to rouse her from her slumber. It must have been some dream I was having, Julie mused as she changed into her running clothes. Instantly, she felt herself flush remembering that it was indeed some dream that she had been in the middle of. A very hot dream, starring none other than her new friend, Mr. Alex Peyton.

  Julie was mortified at her thoughts, as if Josh, who was sound asleep 10 feet away, could read her mind at the moment. Fumbling with her sports bra, she tried to push both the thoughts of Josh reading her mind and of the dream about Alex away. She hastily finished getting dressed and dashed out of her bedroom, only to run smack into Molly standing in the hallway.

  Molly stared up at her mother with heavy lids. “Where are you going Mommy?” she inquired suspiciously. Julie glanced back toward the bedroom, hoping to see Josh jumping out of bed to her rescue. Instead, she saw his peacefully sleeping body, oblivious to the small child awake at an ungodly hour. Julie sighed, defeated. Maybe it was the guilt of her dream that caused her next move.

  “I was going to the kitchen to make you some breakfast, honey. Why don’t you come downstairs and help me before I have to get ready for work?” Julie took her daughter’s small hand and led her to the kitchen. “What would you like to eat?” Julie asked, flicking the switch and flooding the darkened room in light.

  “But you have your running clothes on. Aren’t you going running?” Molly questioned as she settled herself at the breakfast nook.

  “Nope,” Julie replied as she opened the cabinet to display all the cereals for Molly to choose from, “Not today.”

  “Ok,” Molly responded, obviously satisfied with the answer. “I’d like bacon, eggs and toast with jelly. The grape kind, not the strawberry kind. I don’t like the crunchy strawberry seeds. Unless you pick them out, because sometimes Daddy picks them out for me. And orange juice and chocolate milk.” Molly rambled on cheerfully, folding her hands together.

  Glancing at the clock, Julie could see it was only 5:15. Well, she certainly had time this morning to prepare all that.

  “Sure, why not?” Came Julie’s uncharacteristic response as she reached above the island for a frying pan. What’s one day without my morning run, she thought, while opening the fridge to retrieve the eggs and bacon. I can spend some extra time with the girls to make up for getting home after their bedtime the last few nights, she justified.

  As if by some twin ESP, sleepy headed Kaylee stood in the doorway of the kitchen, pjs askew and hair sticking up in the back of her head.

  “Whatcha’ doin’ Mommy?” Kaylee yawned.

  Molly turned to her sister. “Mommy is cooking us breakfast,” she informed her in an important voice. Kaylee padded over to the empty stool at the breakfast nook and happily climbed up.

  “Oooo, can I have green eggs and ham, Mommy?” Kaylee asked, certain her mother was going to refuse.

  “Sure, honey,” Julie laughed, much to her daughter’s delight. “What the heck!” Julie continued to prepare breakfast for her daughters, as they chattered about the party they were having since it was the last day of school before summer break.

  “There’s going to be clowns,” Kaylee squealed while clapping her hands gleefully. “And they can make balloon animals!”

  “Clowns are for babies,” Molly scoffed, “I can’t wait for the bounce house.”

  The sounds of their chattering and laughter must have traveled to their father’s ears, because soon, he appeared in the kitchen, yawning and scratching his head.

  “What’s going on down here?” Josh inquired, obviously confused.

  “Mommy’s making eggies!” Kaylee giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, as if she had just revealed a secret.

  “Oh, nice,” Josh remarked as he leaned on the kitchen counter, “Where’s my eggies, Mommy?” he joked.

  “In the fridge, Daddy,” Julie kidded back, swatting at him with the spatula.

  “Touché,” he replied, retrieving the carton from the fridge. “Over easy, please,” he requested, grinning as he handed Julie the carton. She took it from him, a smile playing on her lips.

  Despite her usual routine being derailed, this was turning out to be pretty pleasant morning. It wasn’t often that they spent relaxed, quality time before Julie had to dash off to work. It was one of the only things she could say she truly regretted about not staying home with the girls.

  As the girls ate and babbled on, Julie thought back on their early years of marriage when Josh was working nights as a paramedic and she would be getting ready for her day just as he was getting home.

  She’d have coffee waiting for him and they would fix something to eat together. Josh would entertain her with stories from his night, anywhere from crazy antics of his co-workers to some of the bizarre calls they would go on. Julie cherished those short 20 or 30 minutes they would have in the morning since that was often the most they would see each other all day. It was their special time, when it seemed like the rest of the world was quiet and they shared their secrets.

  Glancing up from the frying pan at her husband, these memories flooded back to her. He was listening intently to Molly explain all the activities that they absolutely had to do this summer. He felt her gaze and turned to meet her eye. Josh’s smile revealed to Julie that he, too, was remembering the past mornings of the years gone by. It had been a time when life was simpler, the future uncharted. They lived paycheck to paycheck back then, but sometimes Julie thought those were the happiest years of her life.

  Now they were all grown up, with two growing kids and busy lives. Yet this morning, it felt as if nothing had changed between them. The love was still there. Not only was the deep affection evident, the love for their children was palpable. It warmed Julie’s heart.

  Chapter 5

  Julie arrived at work five minutes early, two coffees in hand. Startled, Maryanne looked up from her computer when Julie set one of the coffees down on her desk.

  “Early today?” Maryanne remarked as she eyed the coffee suspiciously. “Light and sweet?”

  “Yes, Big Ben,” Julie replied sardonically. “It’s been a pretty stress free morning so I’d like to keep it that way, thank you.” Julie playfully stuck her tongue out at Maryanne who shook her head.

  “Well it may have been stress free thus far, but you’ve just set foot upon the hallowed grounds of Huntington West. The most stressful place in America. Guaranteed to ruin any good mood,” Maryanne remarked with sarcasm.

  Julie wagged her finger at her beloved secretary. “No way, Miss Buzz Kill, it’s going to be a good day.” She grabbed the handful of phone messages that Maryanne held out to her and headed toward her desk. Shuffling through the messages, she could see Wes called again. Problems with the budget. What else was new? Messag
e from the insurance department regarding an incorrectly filled out incident report. Easy to fix. Message from the emergency room nurse manager regarding disciplinary action against an employee. That would be a little trickier, but still wasn’t going to get her down today.

  After placing her purse and attaché on her bookcase behind the desk, Julie pulled out her budget report and settled back in her chair to return long winded Wes Moffat’s call. At the same time, she began firing off an email to the employee who forgot to sign his accident report. Multitasking was her specialty. Unfortunately, she would have to wait till Wes stopped chewing her ear off in order to take care of the day’s third issue. That was going to require a trip down to the emergency department.

  After 20 minutes of listening to Wes rattle off numbers and projections while staring out the window at the beautiful summer day unfolding in front of her, Julie could not wait any longer and politely ended the conversation with a little white lie.

  “Oh, Wes, I’m so sorry, but I must cut you short. I have an appointment in 10 minutes that I just can’t be late for.” She quickly hung up the phone before he could argue. Grabbing a folder from her filing cabinet with paperwork for the ER nurse manager, Julie headed out the door.

  “Maryanne, I’m going down to emergency to speak with Irene. I’ll be back shortly. Don’t page me if Wes calls back,” she instructed with an eye roll.

  Maryanne put her hand over the phone mouth piece. “Don’t forget your 9:00 appointment,” she warned.

  Julie scrolled down the calendar on her Blackberry. Yes, meeting at 9 with the rep from an IV pump manufacturer. “Got it!” Julie called as she stepped onto the elevator. She spent her trip down to the first floor scanning her daily agenda which was saved in her phone. Pleased with how smoothly her day was going, Julie blissfully sailed off the elevator and right smack into a paramedic. Her Blackberry went flying, along with the folder of paperwork she had been carrying.

  The man immediately bent down to retrieve the papers, while Julie scurried after her phone. She turned to thank him as he held out the file and almost dropped her phone, completely startled.

  “We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this,” Alex Peyton remarked with a huge grin.

  Julie snatched the papers from his outstretched hand. “Yes,” she stammered. “We should, um, definitely do that.” She paused and nervously ran her fingers through her hair. Due to the extreme humidity, it was curling uncontrollably, almost like her toes were as she tried not to stare at Alex. She was standing so close to him that she could smell his aftershave. The scent was as tantalizing as his blue eyes, which were twinkling at her discomfort.

  “Good, good,” Alex replied. “I’d hate for you to get hurt and end up on Ortho with a broken leg and I would have to take care of you.” He winked as he adjusted his sunglasses on top of his perfectly groomed head. The thought of Alex taking care of her nearly made Julie’s legs give way underneath her. She casually placed one hand on a nearby garbage can to steady herself.

  “Wait a minute,” she remarked suddenly. “You’re a nurse aren’t you? Isn’t that a paramedic uniform you have on?”

  “Yes,” Alex replied, a serious expression on his face. “Today is my day off from orientation. I’ve been a paramedic for over four years to pay my way through college. It’s hard to give it up after so long. Plus, it helps keep me busy.”

  Julie, frozen in the position of leaning on the garbage can for support, could only nod. Alex took her nod as a sign to continue. “I really love the fast pace of working a rig. One minute you’re eating lunch and the next minute you could be shocking someone’s heart.” Alex paused thoughtfully and stared straight into Julie’s icy blue eyes. “There’s nothing quite like the adrenaline rush of saving a life. I don’t think there is any feeling on earth that comes close.”

  Julie instantly understood. She had definitely experienced that adrenaline a few times when she had successfully brought a patient back to life. She had floated to the emergency room many times in the beginning of her career and loved every minute of it. Later on she had been the nurse manager of the ER for nearly four years; the position was more of an overseer rather being involved in patient care, much to her dismay. The feeling of physically saving someone was like none other in the world. Alex was right; it was the most amazing sensation in the world to save a life, even more amazing than the birth of her children.

  Julie nodded again, this time in agreement with him. Straightening up, she was able to remove her hand from the garbage can and began to walk towards the emergency department doors at the end of the hall. Alex once more misread her cues and fell into step with her.

  “Yeah, Ortho is definitely cool and a great place to start, but I am hoping to eventually end up here,” Alex announced, pointing at the ER door. “This,” he remarked as they stopped in front of the automatic double doors, “is my dream. I want to work here.”

  Julie paused before hitting the automatic door opener, unsure how to respond. It wasn’t often that she was at a loss for words, but this man kept rendering her speechless. Working in the emergency department had been her dream at one time, too. A dream she had never shared with anyone, not even Josh. She enjoyed the times she had been assigned there more than any other place in the hospital. The constant rush and fast pace were a huge draw for her. She also worked as a paramedic while in college and had actually gotten Josh his job, even though they never worked together. She had loved being a paramedic and her original nursing plans had included a future in emergency medicine. However, the lure of more money had landed her a nurse manager position, a job that was much less hands on and much more paperwork than she had desired. By the time she had been offered her current position, she had been out of the trenches so long she wasn’t even sure if she was capable of nursing in that capacity ever again. The higher Julie climbed up on the career ladder, the more she lost sight of why she started the career to begin with.

  Now fifteen years and a salary difference of $150,000 later, this very eager new nurse reminded her of her former self. He was the Julie of 14 years ago. He shared a passion for the job she had once had. Eager to learn, he was anxious to get his hands dirty, just as she had been. He wasn’t leaving work stressed out and overwhelmed. He left happy to return. Hell, he returned on his day off. Julie, on the other hand left everyday wanting to quit. Julie had lost that feeling of loving her job, connecting with patients and helping people. Her job now consisted of numbers she hated and dealing with pompous, powerful asses that she despised. And the pathetic part was that she was becoming more and more like those people. This realization made Julie uncomfortable.

  The door to the ER swung out and a male and female paramedic stepped out into the hallway. The male, who was about 20 years old with blonde spiked hair and various piercing in his lips and eyebrows, threw his hands up when he spotted Alex.

  “There you are man! Vanessa and I have been all over this place looking for you!”

  Vanessa, a girl with a large and manly build, chimed in, “Yeah, dude you were standing next to me one minute and then you were gone.” She twirled her streaked purple and black hair and snapped her gum. “We should eat something before we get another call,” she continued to say, in her deep and raspy voice.

  Alex looked sheepishly at them. “Sorry guys, I ran into my boss.” He gestured to Julie. “This is Julie Hendricks, director of nursing. These are my co-workers Vanessa and um, Wolf,” Alex remarked with slight embarrassment.

  Julie smiled weakly as they waved half-heartedly in her direction, obviously unimpressed with her credentials. “Wolf” immediately turned back to Alex, “So anyway man, how’s about we grab some grub? I’m starved,” he declared, patting his slightly rounded gut.

  “Yeah, yeah guys. Give me a second. I’ll be right there,” Alex responded. Wolf and Vanessa headed off in the direction of the ambulance bay doors. Julie and Alex watched until they were out of sight, as if they were discussing a surprise party for one of the tw
o. They stood uncomfortably for a moment before Julie broke the silence by turning to Alex. “Listen, I really have to get going. I have to talk to one of the nurses in here,” she explained, gesturing toward the ER doors. Still, she didn’t move from her spot, waiting for Alex to respond. His presence seemed to hold her in a force field from which she could not bust out of.

  Alex nodded. “It was good seeing you,” he replied, placing one hand on her shoulder. Julie tensed, feeling electricity surge through her body. She quickly broke away from his touch and hit the automatic door button on the wall.

  “You too,” she mumbled, scurrying through the opening doors. Instant relief washed over her as the door shut and she could no longer see or feel Alex Peyton. She could not figure out for the life of her, why she was reacting the way she was to this man. Julie had always prided herself on her composure and level headedness, which not only served her well in her career, but in life in general. Alex Peyton had been destroying her calm, cool and collected nature from the moment she had laid eyes on him. Little did Julie know, that was not all he would end up destroying.

  Chapter 6

  Julie rushed through the rest of her day, distractedly. Maryanne raised her eyebrows at Julie’s sudden absent enthusiasm from the morning, knowing something was amiss. She chose not to mention anything, since Maryanne knew Julie usually did not like to be asked what’s wrong? Julie preferred to carefully contemplate situations and problems before she would ask for help or an opinion. That must be what’s going on in her head today, Maryanne assumed. She kept her distance, but was available for her friend if the need arose.

  Leaving the hospital for the day, Maryanne waved goodbye to Julie, wishing her a good weekend. Julie had mumbled a non-coherent reply as she briefly glanced up from her work. Even though she was concerned over her boss’s sudden change in mood, Maryanne continued to chalk it up to job stress, trusting that Julie would discuss the issue when she was ready.